So I'm resurecting this blog again. I'm working on a 12 week program that will start on Sunday Feb 12th. I plan on doing daily videos that show my progress and my workouts. Hoping that this will keep me motivated. As a way of starting off, here is my first video (available on YouTube.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALZiZk_174I

Stay tuned! Comments welcome!

My goals

So as most of you probably have guessed, I'm pretty into bodybuilding. For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of having a rock hard, ripped, muscular physique. And I'm really hoping that I can stay committed over the next year while I'm out of school to make this dream a reality.

So...I thought I'd share with you where I am now, and where I want to be in terms of my physique. Here are my current stats:

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 135lbs

Arms: 13.5"

Chest: 36"

Waist: 30"

Quads: 26"

Calves: 18"

As you can see, I have a decent lower body, but I need some overall...overhaul. Here is a pic of me in the summer of 2005:

And here is a pic of me now:

And here is what I want to look like (except I want my lats to be out more, my chest fuller, and my abs more cut, but this is basically what I have in mind):

An introduction to me! (Don't get your hopes up, it's not all happy.)

Where to begin? I'm beginning this blog as I sit at my desk at work. So here's the deal.
I'm a 28 year old while guy living with my partner, Blair, in our appartment in the nice city of Burlington, Vermont.

For the last 8 or so years I have been struggling with this desire to better my body and I must admit that I have made some fairly good gains over the last couple of years. But I'm seriously dissatisfied with the way I look and, more importantly, the way I've been feeling.
To start with, I have been battling severe anxiety disorder that has gotten worse recently (in the past couple of months.) This anxiety causes me to worry, stress, and makes me all out of sorts. It's like my mind can't stop going at light speed.

I've been getting frequent panic attacks lately due to stress of life. You know, things like having no money and tons of bills to pay. It's one of the reasons that I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my recent life. I decided to leave nursing school during my senior year to try and get a handle on my anxiety and personal health. I think if I can concentrate on myself for a while, then I'll be able to get a handle on my life and be much more happy and productive.

I'm hoping that by keeping this blog active, that I can keep motivated to lift more often and get to my goal of a lean, ripped, muscular body that I can be proud of. (Since there isn't much to be proud of at the moment.) I'm counting on anyone who takes time to read this to get in touch with me. I could use the support and motivation. If there is anyone else who's had trouble with motivation and bodybuilding, I would love to know how you're handling it.

Keep looking because I'll be posting some more about my bodybuilding later tonight when it's more quiet here at work!